Saboteurs in Santa Hats? How to Stop Stress From Stealing Your Holiday Spirit.

The Holiday Disconnect

It’s supposed to be “the most wonderful time of the year,” but sometimes it doesn’t feel that way, does it? Maybe you’ve caught yourself snapping at loved ones over something small or feeling an ache of nostalgia when a holiday song stirs memories of a simpler, happier time.

Or perhaps stress has invited in its mischievous accomplices—your inner saboteurs, dressed in Santa hats, no less. They might show up as the Perfectionist, insisting every gift, meal, or decoration be flawless. Or the Controller, determined to micromanage every detail to make the season just right.

The irony? These saboteurs, though born of good intentions, often steal the very joy and connection you’re striving to create.

Recognizing the Saboteurs

The saboteurs thrive on unconscious stress. They whisper, “If you don’t get it perfect, you’ve failed,” or “You have to handle it all yourself.” And as you listen, you may find yourself caught in a cycle of overdoing, overthinking, and over-controlling, losing sight of what matters most.

These patterns aren’t you—they’re conditioned reactions. The way to disarm them? Step into awareness and lead with intention.

Setting an Intention for the Season

Rather than letting stress or saboteurs take the reins, ask yourself: What do I want this holiday season to feel like?

Intention brings clarity and calm. It reminds you to choose connection over control, presence over perfection. Maybe you want to feel more ease, more joy, or more space to honor memories of loved ones. Whatever your intention, let it be your compass.

When stress arises, pause and reconnect with this question. The answers often cut through the noise of “shoulds” and bring you back to what’s real.

Letting Go of Control

Here’s the paradox of the holidays: the more you try to control, the more distant joy feels. Letting go isn’t about neglecting responsibilities—it’s about trusting the beauty of imperfection and allowing the season to unfold naturally.

Try this practice when the Controller takes over:

1. Take a deep breath and soften your grip on the task at hand.

2. Ask: What’s the worst that could happen if this doesn’t go as planned?

3. Redirect your energy toward something meaningful—a moment of connection, a laugh, or a quiet pause.

This gentle release creates room for the moments that truly matter.

Embracing the Season as It Is

The holidays can be bittersweet, especially when memories of loved ones no longer with us come to the forefront. Instead of pushing those feelings away, invite them in. Light a candle, tell their stories, or let a cherished tradition carry their presence forward.

The season doesn’t need to be perfect to be meaningful. Its magic lies in the messiness—the burnt cookies, the spontaneous laughter, and even the quiet, reflective moments of remembering.

This Holiday, Let Intention Lead

Don’t let the saboteurs in Santa hats steal your holiday spirit. Lead with intention instead. Ask yourself what you want to feel, let go of what you can’t control, and allow joy to emerge—not from perfection, but from presence.

Each time stress creeps in, pause, breathe, and remember: The season doesn’t need to be controlled—it needs to be lived.

This holiday, choose connection, simplicity, and meaning. The rest will take care of itself.